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25 years of LOL – the good and bad bits

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LOL

LOL is celebrating a big birthday this year

LOL is 25 years old. Since its first recorded use in May 1989, LOL has completely transformed how we live. We text it to each other. We write it on pictures of animals. We say it out loud if we want people to think that we’re creepy sociopaths.

A world without LOL is a world without laughter, or at least a world without people claiming to laugh when they’re really just sitting there silently typing things onto Facebook with a Jaffa Cake hanging out of their mouth. The proper way to commemorate an occasion as momentous as this is with a prestigious awards ceremony. Please don’t expect another one of these on the 25th anniversary of “nom”. That would be unconscionable.

Oldest contemporary LOL

This is generally recognised to have taken place on page 11 of an International FidoNet Association Newsletter dated 8 May 1989, sandwiched between a notice about new software releases – including “Realistic Cake Mixing Simulation” and “Fun Nuclear War Game” – and a brief article about UFOs. LOL, mentioned as a suggested acronym for “laughing out loud”, has arguably fared better than H, which was the article’s recommended shortening of “HUH???”. The piece ends with this unwitting warning from history: “I hope this makes for more colourful communicating. Just remember the quote … ‘Anything that can be said in a few words isn’t worth saying.'”

Most recent LOL

At the time of writing, the most recent use of the term LOL occurred on Twitter 16 seconds ago, when a user by the name of @ThembekaAndiswa expressed her amusement at a statistic claiming that half of all giraffes are bisexual.

Most commonly misused LOL

Cameron Cameron’s mistake will go down in LOL history. Photograph: Nick Ansell/AFP/Getty ImagesMany have made the mistake of thinking that LOL actually stands for “lots of love”. One of the most famous examples of this misunderstanding came to prominence three years ago, thanks to a screengrab of this text message sent by a mother to her son: “Your great aunt just passed away. LOL”. However, ever since Rebekah Brooks’ courtroom revelation about David Cameron concluding his texts with LOL – in the belief that he was wishing her lots of love – he will now forever be the gold standard of all LOL‑based cockups.

Most annoying LOL variation

This is a closely fought category. Since its inception, LOL has branched off into an array of ever more niche fronds, each as objectionable as the last. There’s LOOOOOOOL, which is meant to denote sustained laughter but actually means “laugh out out out out out out out loud”. This can also be written as LOLOLOLOL, which is clearly just “laugh out loud out loud out loud out loud”. Then there are ROFL (rolling on floor laughing) and LMAO (laughing my arse off), which are the regrettably needy try-hard cousins of LOL. However, by a nose, the award for most annoying LOL variation goes to the term LOLcano. If you ever see someone use the term LOLcano, even as a joke, you must cut them out of your life instantly. It simply isn’t worth the trouble of knowing them.

Cutest regional LOL variation

Many countries have their own variation of LOL. Amused online Koreans use “ㅋㅋㅋ”, a repetition of their alphabet’s “K” sound. Some French people use MDR, which stands for “mort de rire (died of laughter)”. But the most adorable of all comes from Thailand, which uses “555” as a local LOL-substitute. The Thai number five is pronounced “ha”. Ha ha ha. See?

Least funny official example of LOL usage

LOL has been in the Oxford Dictionaries since 2011. For any curious dictionary owners who want to know how to correctly deploy a LOL, it offers the following example: “I love how you said ‘coffee is not my cup of tea’. LOL!”. One: “coffee is not my cup of tea” is barely even worth a “ha”, let alone a full LOL. Two: you don’t put an exclamation mark after a LOL unless you want to sound like a lonely drifter desperate for friends at a party. Three: Anyone who has ever had this exchange is clearly in a toxic relationship and needs to get out as soon as they can.

Worst thing anyone can do with a LOL

LOL is meant to be written down. Under no circumstances is it ever supposed to be spoken aloud. Especially not as a response to hearing something funny. And particularly if you aren’t actually laughing out loud as you say it. This has always been the case. In 2010, a worried poster by the name of disorder2k8 revealed the following on a David Icke messageboard: “I often say “LOL” to myself if I find something amusing.” He went on to point out: “It’s a very bad habit but I think this is going to be the future,” before glumly reaching the obvious conclusion that “technology is frying my brain”. Let disorder2k8 be your guide. Don’t repeat his mistakes.

Best song with the word LOL in the title

Although it’s now an immovable piece of our culture, LOL hasn’t infiltrated the pop charts as well as it could. Therefore, the best song currently to be called LOL is by a band called Rockstah. It isn’t very good at all – it can best be described as vaguely miffed dubstep – but is saved by the fact that it’s in German, so its horrors are largely veiled to the British ear. And, as the next award proves, it could have been a lot worse.

Worst song with the word LOL in the title

In 2009, rapper Trey Songz released a song called LOL :-). It would have been bad enough for him to just call it LOL but, no, he had to add 🙂 to the end of it. 🙂 is barely even an emoticon. It looks like someone’s punched their keyboard out of frustration, possibly after reading Trey Songz’s discography. Apparently the title is pronounced “LOL Smiley Face”, but this is hard to verify because anyone who has ever said this out loud has been forced by society to become a shivering recluse in a cave somewhere.

Best film called LOL

In 2006, mumblecore auteur Joe Swanberg directed LOL, a low‑budget film about the impact of technology on social relations. It is notable for starring Greta Gerwig in her first ever role. Even if you haven’t seen it, it’s still the best film ever made called LOL because the only other English-language film to be called LOL is …

Worst film called LOL

Miley Cyrus plays, like, a teenager who breaks up with her boyfriend. But, like, her new boyfriend totally bangs her enemy in a toilet, and her mom’s Demi Moore and she wants to go to Paris but Demi Moore’s like “no way” and she’s all like “yuh-HUH” and then they cry and cuddle and time folds in on itself and you lose all sensation in your limbs and then it ends. In short: not LOL.

Biggest LOL star

If it wasn’t for LOL, we wouldn’t be blessed with LOLCats – the feline photographs that come accompanied by heavily accented and phonetically spelled captions. “Littl dus she no, iz jus pooped” reads one such caption on a picture of a woman holding a cat. Almost 12,000 people have seen this picture and then clicked the “like” button underneath it. We’re all doomed. All of us.

Most-watched YouTube LOL video

A video entitled “Lol wtf japanese butt gun??” is currently the most-viewed non-League of Legends LOL video on YouTube. Over 13 million people have watched it since it was uploaded in the summer of 2010. In the video, a Japanese schoolgirl pulls up her skirt, pushes an enormous machine gun barrel out of her backside and then fires it at an astonished-looking older man. The whole thing lasts for 11 seconds, after which viewers are somehow expected to just get on with their lives again.

Most confusing Yahoo Answer with LOL in the question

Yahoo Answers is potentially the maddest corner of the entire internet. It’s also where you can find some of the most avant garde uses of the term LOL ever written. The best is arguably this health question, asked by an anxious – if uncontrollably giggling – user six years ago. It reads: “Whats wronge with my mouth lol? every thing i eat tastes like bananas even things i drink to lol so i wanna know if u know why this is happening lol. Update: the alst time i ate a banana was like 2 months ago lol”. The answer to this query, at least according to one expert, is “babe because your mouth is smooth as a banana”. I don’t know what this means either.

Most excruciating use of LOL by anyone anywhere ever

For this most ferocious of anti-LOLs, we must return to David Cameron’s misunderstanding with Rebekah Brooks. Shortly after she revealed his error, Cameron mentioned the new French president in passing during PMQs. Immediately, Ed Miliband was at his throat: “I’m sure, Mr Speaker, that a text message and LOL will go down very well.” Cameron laughed, helpless against Miliband’s rapier wit. Miliband looked absurdly pleased with himself, even though he pronounced it “elle-oh-elle”. Meanwhile, Nick Clegg simply stared off into the middle distance with a haunted look upon his face. This was to be the last time he’d correctly gauge the mood of the nation. LOL!

PLUS! The top 10 lolz that made the internet what it is today …

Star Wars Boy

The first two things that anyone watched on the internet were the Pamela Anderson sex tape and this footage of a boy clumsily pretending that a broomstick was a lightsaber. Still funny.

All your base are belong to us

The European translation of a Japanese Megadrive game contained this phrase. Took on a life of its own because, on the internet, nothing’s funnier than foreign people using English badly.

Evolution of Dance

A man stands on a stage and performs every single dance he can think of. It is precisely as awful as you think it is.

Rickrolling

Someone sends you a link. You click it. It’s a YouTube video of Rick Astley performing Never Gonna Give You Up. Stops being funny when your dad does it to you.

The Batman Slap

A comic book still of Batman slapping Robin, accompanied by a topical caption. Robin: “We wish you a merry Chri…” SLAP. Batman: “It’s November”. And so on.

I’m on a Boat

Andy Samberg’s parody band Lonely Island team up with R&B star T-Pain to sing about being on a boat.

Keyboard cat

Imagine You’ve Been Framed if all the videos ended with real injury and were immediately followed by footage of a cat in a shirt playing a piano with its paws. That’s Keyboard Cat.

Downfall

Hitler’s last days, subtitled to reflect current events. There were Downfall parodies about iPads, Michael Jackson and, inevitably, about the glut of Downfall parodies flooding the internet.

Condescending Wonka

Willy Wonka rests his head on his hands and passive-aggressively tells you off. “Ohh, you’re in love?” he says. “Tell me more about being 12 years old”. Willy Wonka is a dick.

Doge

A photo of a shiba inu dog, accompanied by text like ‘wow’ and ‘so advertising’ and ‘such unsure’. See the above entry about bad Englishbeing funny on the internet.

source:http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/may/28/25-years-lol-good-bad-bits

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Industry

THE FINTECH REVOLUTION IN INSURANCE

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Advancing technology has collided with longstanding customer issues to create a series of deep, lasting, systemic challenges for insurance. How will these trends impact insurers’ businesses and the industry overall?

The rise of fintech, changing consumer behavior, and advanced technologies are disrupting the insurance industry. Additionally, Insurtechs and technology startups continue to redefine customer experience through innovations such as risk-free underwriting, on-the-spot purchasing, activation, and claims processing.

The report from Deloitte Global examines forces that are disrupting the insurance industry and presents four possible scenarios for the future. We explore:

  • Changing the channel: Partnerships with product makers and distributors, and embedding insurance into other products and services may enable customers to select products that best fit their lifestyle.
  • Underwriting by machine: Technology advancements including AI innovations and algorithms will likely individualize risk selection and pricing, and customers can select products based on a wider range of price points.
  • Rise of the flexible product: Time-flexible, event-driven, modular and adjustable coverage may evolve to accommodate life stage, lifestyle, and wellness changes among consumers.
  • E-Z life insurance: Given the growth and shopping patterns in emerging markets, insurers who introduce flexible term products, and master digital distribution without compromising underwriting are likely to win in the marketplace.

Read the report to understand what the future holds for the insurance industry.

Key Contact

Neal Baumann

Neal Baumann

Global Insurance Leader

Neal leads Deloitte’s Global Insurance practice and is the US insurance consulting leader. He has 20 years of experience advising financial services and insurance company clients on corporate and comp… More

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Business

EUROPEAN INVESTMENT BANK RUNS BLOCKCHAIN HACKATHON

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A team from EY triumphed in a 48-hour European Investment Bank (EIB) hackathon designed to find ways to use blockchain technologies to redesign the transaction processing of commercial paper.

The EIB brought together 56 coders from 15 countries in 12 teams for the hackathon, run alongside the bank’s annual forum dedicated to treasury issues.

While the conference was running, the coders were locked in an adjacent room, trying to prove that blockchain tech can improve the transaction process of commercial paper – a short-term financing instrument that is used worldwide in treasury operations and still relies on an ‘archaic’ and complex process.

In the pitching session, the EY team won the contest with an effort that taps a combination of blockchain, robotics and business AI tools to optimise the issuance process and reduce the number of exchanges between the EIB and its counterparties while maintaining each one’s role within the ecosystem.

The EY team won a EUR5000 cash prize and a contract with the EIB to further develop its solution into a proof of concept.

Alexander Stubb, vice president, EIB, say: “There will be major gains from the use of new technologies such as blockchain, generated from the simplification and streamlining of existing financial processes. The new perspectives opened up by digitalisation and Distributed Ledger Technology must be assessed and we must all be ready to make use of them and embark on this new venture.

“As the EU’s financial arm, we decided to be on the active side, learn by experience and make things happen, to be a facilitator and join with our banking partners to pave the way for tomorrow’s financial industry.”

Separately, Barclays is planning a hackathon that will see coders use blockchain technology for post-trade processing of derivatives contracts. The event will take place over two days in September in London and New York, according to Coindesk.

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Industry

GOOGLE NEVER REALLY LEFT CHINA: A LOOK AT THE CHINESE WEBSITE GOOGLE’S BEEN QUIETLY RUNNING

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More information is leaking out about just how Google is planning to re-enter the Chinese market with a mobile search engine application that complies to the country’s censorship laws.

The Intercept first broke this story when a whistleblower provided them documentation detailing the secret censored search project (codenamed Dragonfly). According to them, an overlooked Google acquisition from 2008 — 265.com — has been quietly laying down the foundation for the endeavor.

In order to run a business in China, tech companies are required to obtain a Internet Content Provider license from the Chinese government. As it’s difficult for foreign businesses to obtain this license, Google has long partnered with Chinese IT company Ganji.com. Back in the early years of Google.cn, Google actually operated directly off of Ganji.com’s license, even claiming the Chinese company was temporarily running its search engine. Facing intense scrutiny from the Chinese government and the media over this license arrangement, in 2007 Google formed a legitimate joint venture company with Ganji.com — the Beijing Guxiang Information and Technology Co.

Because of the necessity of that license, Google has maintained that joint venture and has been operating in China under the name Beijing Guxiang Information and Technology Co. ever since. Even after the shut down of Google.cn, Google’s Chinese advertising enterprise has been operating under the joint venture company as well as, low and behold, 265.com. A whois search of the 265.com domain name, which provides a record of the current domain registrant information, pulls up Beijing Guxiang Information and Technology Co. as the registrant organization.

A significant number of Google employees are reportedly none too happy about Google’s project complying with Chinese censorship laws. This most recent news, that the company has long been collecting data for a moment just like this, surely won’t make morale among these workers any better.

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